Hello all guys…
This blog is about few of myself as a class of Psychology 101.
In a time of childhood, I am a one of “shortest” student in the class. Also first one in a line when singing the national anthem. That made me shy.
However I was the best in studying in the class.
Grew up later, I was told that I lacked the communication skills (been improving nowadays)
However I am proud of being a part of laboratory so I skilled programming and won some competitions. Nice!
After undergraduate, Going to work. Found many feedbacks such as “not good in service” “work too slow” and “not into the customers”, sometimes got some appearance abuses.
However I had have the customers’ compliments like “good works”, “fun to talk with”, and “clear answers for their inquiries”.
On this day, I realize lots of feedbacks when looking back. “good”, “well”, “bad”, “short”, “slow”, “terrible”, and etc.
Most of those feedback are adjectives, are they? They magnify me how I am in those eyes. I would say the adjectives are for comparing with the others, for example:
- Good in studying “compare with all students in a class”
- Slow working “compare with Miss A”
- Fluent speaking “compare with those two friends”
Furthermore, we often use the adjectives without referring the comparative objects and let the audiences imagine what they comprehend by their backgrounds:
- “Bad in studying” if the listeners experienced the neighbors got blame about this, they may end up being depressed.
- “Ugly” oh, this word is so rude. Listeners would be unhealthy when comparing themselves with the other more beautiful (in their thought) and got some body-shame problems.
- “Idiot” this is extremely impolite. It definitely makes listeners feel lowering their esteems.
Those words called “Labeling” which means the speakers label or judge the listeners based on the speakers’ imagination to the listeners. The problem is the imagination is not similar to the listeners’ and they may be worst than reality.
This situation of the world is the labeling causing hate speeches from the negative adjectives. It hurts and also breaks the mind of most listeners.
How can we avoid this? We can use the facts e.g. “Got grade 3.00 out of 4.00”, “Not-finished works by 2”, or “1 incorrect issue of presentation”. Additionally, we describe more about solutions of the mistakes.
Our communication that involves facts can control the understanding of both speakers and listeners to be on the same pages. It also decrease the unintentional hatred and depression especially the high-sensitive persons.
This is my opinion about what we should say to others. As a speaker, the facts would be better to explain someone instead of those negative adjectives, right?
In the other hand, as a listener, we can ignore the negative them and achieve the communication goal by the light side of the session, can’t we?